Wednesday, January 13, 2010

big ol' revelation

I had a bit of a realisation last week. I might not be the heartless *chooseyourownexpletive* that I sometimes think I am.

Don't get me wrong. I can be sharp. I can be blunt. I can be downright sarcastic, and I defintely have more than my fair share of cynicism. And because of this I sometimes think people think stuff just bounces off me and I'm fine.

Truth is, I think I feel other people's pain and hurt more than I feel my own. A couple of things happened last week; a schoolmate of mine was killed in an electrical accident, and a friend from uni lost her father to a sudden, unexpected brain bleed. And I felt so sad. Sad for a person I haven't seen in years, sad for his family. Sad for a friend who I usually think of a funny ditzy blonde. Just so so so so sad. I felt sad that people I knew were sad. And yet when things happen to those close to me, like when my grandfather died, I just sort of keep going with something close to numbness than sadness.

I'm not really sure what this actually means. But I think it's a good thing to realise about myself regardless.

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