Oh hai

You might be thinking I've fallen off the face of the earth. I haven't. I just sort of...keep forgetting to blog.

So I'm back in Australia, back at uni, and back to wishing my friends in all sorts of places lived closer. I am loving doing design, though, and have some thoughts about turning this blog into something more focused on design, but lets be honest, it will probably mostly turn into self indulgent meanderings. Because that's what blogs are for.

Also, keep your eyes peeled for a guest post on The Geeky Wives blog. No, there's no announcements you've missed, but Sarah The Geeky Wife asked me to write something, so despite only being geeky and not a wife, something will be there shortly. Shortly-ish. Once I write it. Hmm.

Happy Birthday to Me

Usually, when you have a birthday, you don't feel any different. Nothing really has changed. It's the anniversary of the day you were born and we celebrate and eat cake, but really it's just an excuse to get presents and have a party.

It's weird, though. Today (or maybe yesterday, it's hard to tell with the timezones) I turned twenty five. I don't really feel different physically, but I do feel like things are different. I am no longer in my early twenties, for instance. I have to find and pay for my own private health insurance (well, technically anyway). Even though legally I've been an adult for seven years, I feel like now I might be supposed to act like one.

Which is largely rubbish, of course. My favourite people over twenty five don't act any differently than I do. But still, I think things are going to change. It might just be because I'm in a transitional place in life and things would be changing regardless of my age or it being my birthday. Still, I think exciting times are ahead...watch this space.

Or don't. Because honestly I'll probably forget to blog about it anyway.

The Obligatory Post About the New Year

Yes, that's right. It's the first of January in 2011. We made it. Hurrah. Sure, our iPhones didn't wake us up this morning but for many people I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing.

There's always a buzz at this time of year about 'resolutions'. I don't like making New Years Resolutions because I know I will fail. You can shut up right now about my defeatist attitude, or planning to fail, or whatever rubbish you're thinking. We all know how spectacularly badly my 'book a week' challenge went, and that wasn't even a new years resolution.

I did, however, read something this morning that was an interesting take on the whole new years resolution thing. It was on the blog of Felicia Day, who is very cool. If you don't know who she is, go look on imdb, and if that doesn't ring any bells, it's highly likely you're on the wrong blog right now because if you're reading this you should know I'm a massive nerd. OK I haven't actually seen any of The Guild but I'm trying to rectify that, only the Australian iTunes store isn't helping matters.

Anyway, here is a link, and my point. I think looking back at your year and working out what you've learned is a great idea. Looking at what you've learned and applying it is far more realistic than any grand resolution, in my opinion. Because it's based on good hard evidence and not just a drunken statement at midnight.

I think I've written quite a bit already on what 2010 taught me. It taught me that sometimes things don't go according to plan, and that's great. I learned the hard way that challenges really are an opportunity in disguise. They force you to stop and reasses everything which is something I rarely do. I learned that mental illness really can happen to me. Seriously, people, this is a big one. It's not just something that happens to everyone else, and just because you're educated and intelligent and think you'll know when something is wrong doesn't mean you will. It might take years and then you'll crash and burn and it'll hit you with a big 'a ha'.

Of course I learned some fun things too. Like that it is possible to watch all seven seasons of 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer' in a period of about three months or less, if you really try. Like the fact that in Edmonton, it's only really cold if your snot freezes. Anything before that is just chilly. That fruchocs can be breakfast. OK, that last one is just to convince me that I'm being healthy, sitting here eating fruchocs. The packet is open on the table, what else am I supposed to do?

OK. I'll stop rambling now. Go read Felicia Day's post. It's far more eloquent than mine and you get a picture of her looking super awesome to boot.

An Observation

I've noticed something a little odd and quite disturbing.

I'm much more likely to forgive my cat than I am to forgive a person.

My cat bites me occasionally. She scratches. She ignores me and hates my friends, and runs away and hides everytime we have anyone around. She also has this really annoying habit of standing in her litter tray and doing her business over the edge which leads to some serious mess that needs to be cleaned up.

And yet, I can never stay mad at her for more than about 30 seconds. All she has to do is look at me with her greeny-yellow eyes and purr a bit, and I melt. She's so soft and cuddly and cute, how could anyone not just adore her?

And yet, if some of my best human friends acted in this way, would I just put up with it because they're cute? Some of them are pretty cute! But if my best friend suddenly bit me, ignored me, hated my friends and defecated in my bathroom, would I still love her? Would it take only thirty seconds to forgive her?

Sure, it's harder to understand the reasons for a person's behaviour than a cat's. But surely we shouldn't have to understand a person's motives to forgive them. Forgiveness, like love, should be unconditional, right?

So I'm thinking the way I (and, I think, many others. I just don't want to make assumptions so I've written this whole blog post like it's just about me...) forgive my kitty is almost a model of the way God forgives us. We, being human and fallible, find it hard to practice this model of perfect forgiveness in our relationships with humans. Perhaps then it is comforting that there is still something in my life over which I can exercise God's will for me, to forgive perfectly and completely with no need for explanation.

Only, it's a cat. I'm pretty sure that's not what God intended...

Things about me

So. You've stumbled upon this blog. But just who is the mysterious 'rach' who posts these inane ramblings?

Well, to start with, this is a picture of my desk



So. Yes. I'm not the world's neatest person. But if I tidy it up I can't find anything, so it stays messy.

Speaking of my desk, this little fellow currently sits on it.



'Hello. My name is Julian. I am a stuffed dog'

Julian is a dog from Barcelona (the city, sadly, not the planet...) and he has no nose. Imagine how many times a day you end up telling that joke and it's still funny...

Next to my desk is this



Because I am a dancer. And a little bit artsy. And I like Ikea. So really, that simple black statue says quite a bit about me. Let alone the fact that I have another similar one on the other side...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAnd that's enough about me. Stay tuned for the next exciting episode of 'Rachel gets bored and takes stupid artsy photos with her iPhone and puts them on her blog in a fit of vanity!!!' Or not. Who knows if I'll ever again get bored and take stupid artsy photos with my iPhone and post them on my blog in a fit of vanity. Only time will tell.

Tomorrow is only a day away

This time tomorrow, I will be finished with honours. My seminar and defense will be over, I will have my mark, and will only have to make any spelling corrections etc and I can kiss this all goodbye. It's quite an awesome feeling, really, although I imagine the feeling of it actually being over will top this by approximately a million.

It does, however, mean that for the first time in 4 and a half years, I won't be a student anymore, at least for the time being. Sure, I'll keep getting student discounts until July when my student card expires, but I won't be a uni bum any more. I'm going to have to start living in the real world, where things like money and paying tax are important and inevitable. Sleeping til 10:30 on weekdays will probably be a thing of the past. Lunches at the Exeter will no longer be allowed to go on for 4 hours. Spending all day on Facebook will no longer cut it.

But you know what? I think that's OK. I think that I'm ready to enter the world of real, responsible adults, if only for a little while. It's scary, but people have faced much more frightening things than this in the past. It's the not the scariest thing I'll ever do.

I'm feeling the need to wrap this up with something horribly cliche. Like 'it's time to spread my wings and fly'...which is rubbish really, as I don't have wings. That'd be cool though, wouldn't it?

Powerless

You know what I really hate?

I hate feeling powerless. I really hate it. I hate seeing people in situations I would love to change and having zero ability to do it. I especially hate when those people could do something about that situation themselves...but for some reason don't or feel they can't. But I still can't change the situation and it makes me so frustrated.

I guess it's related to another pet hate of mine - people who gripe on about a situation when they have the power to change it. And I think it's because so many things could be changed by just a small action, but too often we're too scared or too worried about what people will think of us if we do.

That said, I don't always practice what I preach. I let people walk all over me on occasions when I could easily stand up and say no. Sadly, I like people to like me, and don't like it when people don't like me. It makes me uncomfortable.

So. yes. Thesis writing. Procrastination, much?

Sadness in the internet age

For about the last year, I've been following the blog of a person I only really know as AlabamaPink. A commenter at another website I visit, I started following her blog when she was diagnosed with leukaemia.

About half an hour ago, I discovered she lost her fight. And I find I don't know what to feel. I never actually met this person, and unlike other people I have met online, I've never had a conversation with her, or exchanged emails. We weren't friends on Facebook. She quite probably didn't even know I existed, although I commented a few times on her blog.

Yet I feel utterly devastated.

Maybe it's because I know she leaves behind a three year old boy. Maybe it's just because she was so determined in her fight that I never thought she would succumb to the disease. Maybe it's the harsh reminder that for every glamourous celebrity we see on the news, with a fabulous wig and perfect teeth saying 'ooh look at me, I survived cancer, aren't I great?' there are people who suffer and die and we forget that.

Rest in Peace, AlabamaPink.

cabin fever

Ya know what? I haven't been outside for about 2 days...since Sunday afternoon, actually, when I went to Spotlight. This is for 2 reasons, I suppose. Or maybe it's just one. I'm not sure. Basically it's so freaking cold and wet, why would anyone go outside who didn't need to?? I figure, that's 2 reasons, right? Too cold, plus I have no reason to.

Well. No pressing reason, anyway. There are several things I could be doing, like going to visit J out at Hampstead where she is recovering from being hit by a tram. Or visiting my very sick grandfather. Or buying stuff for my latest craft venture. But none of those things are pressing enough to get me to go out in the rain and the occasional hail.

I kinda wish I did have something to do, though. I'm getting awful bored. Plus the cabin fever.

Oh well. Next week I'm off to Darwin to escape the cold that is Adelaide. Yay!!

A few things I've learned in the last few days

As much as I told people I had a good weekend, really, I spent quite a bit of it feeling really rather blah. Which was rather unpleasant. But it showed me a few things:

* Watching Torchwood, oddly enough, is not a mood lifter. In fact it is pretty much the opposite. Especially because I accidentally know how some of it is going to end. At least I had the sense not to watch the last two episodes, and to switch to Daria instead.

*As mentioned previously, Daria is a much better alternative to Torchwood when feeling blue. I'm not sure why. Surely all the sarcasm and angst can't be conducive to a good mood? Oh, wait. This is me we're talking about. Moving on...

*When you are blue, it is really hard to eat just one chocolate frog...

*Other people's blogs are far more interesting than mine. This probably explains why, as far as I am aware, no one actually reads my blog...

*The one things that is better than Daria when you feel blue is watching QI on youtube. Ah the hilarity. Laughter, as they say, is indeed the best medicine.