To the people of planet earth.
Cut it out. Stop all the douchenozzlery. Quit being twatwaffles. Enough with the assholery. M-kay?
p.s if you're thinking 'surely she doesn't mean me?', yes. Yes I do. ALL OF YOU! I'm this close to emancipating myself from the entire human race. I don't want to be a part of you any more.